What saddens me most about these events is that the children involved were probably not educated on the seriousness of their actions.

Underage Sexting Scandals and Law

Do children understand the meaning of consent, pornography and laws related to these topics? Perhaps the very idea seems outlandish, as these are just children, however, recent news in Chicagoland seems to indicate a need for some form of education to those children upon entering middle school.

Early last week, a sexting scandal involving a small group of eighth graders at a suburban middle school was brought to light. This event involved images which were ‘unknowingly redistributed’ among other students. A few days later, another sexting scandal broke out at a different middle school, this one involving sixth graders.

During one morning last week, I heard the term ‘distribution of child pornography’ used in reference to the eighth graders. Children are not above the law, and, depending on where the investigation leads, some may face such charges.

What saddens me most about these events is that the children involved were probably not educated on the seriousness of their actions. When I was in middle school, bullies used various words and actions that were uncomfortably lewd against me. In seventh grade, I remember the words ‘sexual harassment’ coming out of my parents mouth as they tried to figure out if there was anything they could do.

Using sexual terminology for bullying purposes is nothing new. Even so, bullies are just children. They don’t completely understand the damage they do. Much of the effort to stop bullying involves trying to build that understanding so children know their actions are wrong and have consequences. Perhaps that effort needs to be expanded to include the differences between bullying, sexual harassment and distribution of pornography.

This photo, “Pro Juventute – Stopp Cyber-Mobbing Kampagne © Pro Juventute_15” is copyright (c) 2014 Pro Juventute and made available under an Attribution 2.0 Generic license

The idea that we should be discussing sexual topics with children who are 10 years old is unnerving. Then again, I have a high school friend who lost her virginity before the eighth grade. These things happen. Yes, maybe they shouldn’t happen at such a young age. Maybe broken families contribute to that kind of behavior. However, these events are going to happen, and the children involved, regardless of their home life, deserve the chance to protect themselves with knowledge.

The problem is, I’m not really sure what to suggest. What kind of education should be provided? These issues get very close to grey areas society has yet to figure out. For example, many states have laws making it illegal to have sex under a certain age. For arguments sake, let say the age is 16. What happens in the event two 15-year-olds have consensual sex? Technically, they are both breaking the law. Should we prosecute them both?

I don’t have the answers to these questions and I don’t think the law has answers either. When it comes to things like sexting and the distribution of lewd images, where is the line? It has become common for adults to exchange naked photos of each other and to sext back and forth. This is all consensual and legal. If we change the situation so those people are underage and legally unable to consent, what then?

This is where I am left puzzled. I already think we should include consent education (defining what is and isn’t consent) in sex education.  Should we also be teaching earlier? Perhaps more pressing, how do you explain to a 10-year-old or 13-year-old that, even though they have a phone, and even though they can, of their own free will, take a photo of themselves naked and distribute it, that they also can’t consent to that photo being taken and/or distributed and are breaking the law by doing so?

I’m at odds here, with more questions than answers. The question I really want to ask is hard to even type, but I’m going to ask anyway. I’m wondering if there is some form of consent a child has. Could we say it is legal (note that legal does not mean right) for two consenting children to engage in such activities? I immediately want to say no, because I see a 14-year-old taking advantage of a five-year-old as something that should be clearly defined as an illegal act. Yet, being taken advantage of implies that consent was not given my the five-year-old, right?

I know this is all ridiculous. Consent and children; what is the world coming to? The actions of these children are disgustingly wrong. However,  I’m hesitant to place a child who took their own photo and choose to distribute that photo in a in the same group as child pornography distributors. Even if these photos ended up being used as a bullying tactic, is that really equal to the distribution of child pornography. What happens when a child is charged with such a heavy transgression? Certainly there is a difference between a child who didn’t understand what they were doing and a sexual deviant.

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53 thoughts on “Underage Sexting Scandals and Law”

  1. Just let children be children, make their mistakes, (if serious, the punishment should fit the child’s mind frame, preferably by parents), and soon enough they’ll grow up. As a kid, I didn’t know the gravity of anything I did that was illegal.

    1. That’s a very simple answer. I want to agree, but when it comes to things like sexting and lewd images, there has to be consequences. Distributing child pornography is a crime even if a child is the one distributing that. It’s not something that says on a Polaroid in their basement. Those photos can get out on the internet and never disappear. A bully may unintentionally make their victim the target of a pedophile who find that photo on the internet. There should be consequences, but I’m not sure where they should lie. Or, should we say that a child who distributes a nude photo of themselves or a classmate is not distributing pornography? These are issues that go beyond typical child pranks.

      1. They need to be taught about the bully man and consequences, and then punished according to their mental state, age, maturity, etc. If they’re close to 18, they could be tried as adults. Depends on the severity. Most kids aren’t taught, and probably don’t think others can view their private photos they share with their friends, that’s different than deliberately distributing a naked picture of your girlfriend to all your school friends, but it’s still not pedophilia. It’s kids being stupid, and if it’s worse let the punishment fit the intent of the person. When you say child, I think of 10 yr old kids. Your talking high school kids. They should and probably have been taught right and wrong, will do wrong, and most don’t deserve to have their lives ruined for it. Depends in the circumstances. the 16 year old “dead girl” prank was jail time severe, rape, kidnapping, child porn, drugs, and probably more. Terrible thing to happen to that girl, and was almost covered up if not for the group Anonymous.

        1. No, I am talking about 10-year-olds. Well, one case with 10-year-olds that did not involve photos and another with 13-year-olds which did involve photos. I agree with what you say that the punishment should fit the crime. I feel like this news shows that we need to be teaching children about these dangers in early middle school. I would go so far as to say children should be educated on what sexting and pornography is. They should know how the law defines child pornography.

          What worries me is how the law currently exist. As it stands, any distribution of child pornography is against the law. I don’t think there is any distinction between images distributed for a prank vs. images distributed for pedophilia. I’m thinking there should be.

          The problem isn’t just the law, though. I imagine many parents would take issue if the school wanted to talk to 10-year-olds about sexting and porn.

          1. I love kids. My 10 year old granddaughter could become a victim of something like this, I bought her her first PC Tablet for her 10th birthday last month. She needs to be told. They are so innocent. They need to be told, the parents need to be educated too. What a twisted world we occupy. But at the end of the day, a 10 year old is just a 10 year old, and their brains are wired to be just what they are, kids. I’m curious what others will have to say.

            1. I agree that children need to be told, but many parents would feel otherwise. It’s like sex ed. Some say we should only teach abstinence, but that doesn’t stop children from doing what they want (why do they think there are songs about losing virginity in the back of cars?). The deserve the knowledge to protect themselves if they make that choice, even if it’s a choice we hope they don’t make. I feel like that is similar to this. Children need to understand how very big of a deal it is to put stuff out on social media. If they need to know the risks and they need to know the right action to take if they find sexts or lewd images.

              1. Some parents don’t know enough about the new technology themselves, but those that do and don’t teach their kids is child abuse. But I’m telling you the truth, at all levels of our govt, and the cabal that runs the world’s governments, they prey on children, so they’re not going to teach them. Parents, must do this, and they need to do it now. Another alternative is to keep this technology from kids under a certain age. Otherwise, I don’t know that we can do much about it. Just all of us reach out to kids in our ”little world” and teach them. Talk to other parents. Share this blog post. ;)

                1. oh man, do I agree. I did even get a real cell phone until I was 18 years old, and now they’re making potty trainers with holders for iPads. That will NEVER fly with my kids. I plan on being on top of that as much as I can, and to keep an open conversation. You only need to look as far as the food they serve children in schools to know the government and/or public school system isn’t interested in doing anything unless a lot of pressure is applied.

                  It’s all a delicate balance. Don’t make the children feel bad for the feelings they have as they mature, but teach them how to deal with those feelings in a healthy way. Teach them about the dangers of social media, prevent them for a time or insist they friend you if they are going to use social media. This is where I think keeping an open dialog is important. It’s be easy to create a profile on the internet without telling parents. but maybe if parents try to create an environment where their kids feel they can tell them anything, that won’t happen as much.

                  But, I’m not a parent. I have more questions than answers when it comes to this. I’m not sure what would work and what wouldn’t. I just know these things are going to happen and something should be done to educate and protect the children.

                  1. And don’t forget there are very good free parental apps that can be put on kids phones and iPads. They prevent certain activity and track activity. Several are a must have, but some parents are PC illiterate so they need to ask someone who isn’t.

      2. I totally agree with you. I used to work for a woman who provided this information as part of sex education to 11-16 year olds. I thought what she was saying was of such gravity regarding keeping children safe (including safe from trouble with the law) that all children in all schools should have access to such knowledge. But they don’t. She was almost a voice in the wilderness – our school was one of the last to dispense with their paid youth workers (budget cuts.) I saw that this sort of education was possible and it should be done. But sadly it is not done and a generation of children remains uneducated and goes into adulthood uneducated on these matters.

        1. I don’t know if I will ever have kids, but if I do, I plan to make sure they know about this. They should know how serious stuff like this can be. They can’t even think of protecting themselves if they haven’t even be given the education in the first place.

          1. People forget that child protection is about giving children the information to protect themselves in a very fast moving world. My boss also used to give very clear advice on how the law (in practical terms rather than just by the book) regarded underage sex. And also educated young men about the risks they were taking regarding being accused of rape if they did not get explicit consent from a woman. If people think that is over the top, there are still lots of men who think that it is OK to have sex with a woman if she is too drunk to give consent. The law would argue otherwise.

            I think your plans are excellent and I hope one day you do have children who benefit from your wisdom.

            1. When I originally wrote this, I said a lot about consent education. I don’t care what you think the world should be like. People (of all genders and all sexualities) should know the legal ramifications of sex without consent and be provided with a clear definition of what consent is. I think about this with my younger brother. Does he know it is considered rape to have sex with someone who is legally drunk because that person cannot legally consent or does he think what the rappers say about getting girls tipsy is the way to go? I know, because I’m a woman and have been taught to fear these things. The facts are, however, that anyone of any gender can be the perpetrator or victim of rape. EVERYONE should know the definition of consent and the laws surrounding consent.

              (sorry for the mini rant)

      3. Hi. I wonder how any society can teach sex education to children when its own sexual values are so confused. Nor is it only sexual values which impact on the perceptions of children and young people.
        As a writer of erotic fiction there are certain things I believe it is reasonable for consenting adults to access, but what I write is not contained in newspapers, in glossy magazines or on television.
        A great deal of pre-watershed television (here in the UK that is nominally about 9:00 pm) is about relationships which are presented as ‘normal’ (in soaps, for example) but which are actually hugely distorted, sensationalized in order to attract viewers. There is little of love in any of it, much of aggression, violence, bitterness and dysfunction.
        On shop and supermarket shelves, even where ‘pornographic’ titles are withheld or placed out of view, the superficial imagery is body-centric and the text devoted to slimming, having success with males and being as ‘beautiful’ as you can be.
        I believe that what we are doing is subjecting our children to a barrage of corrupting material which society doesn’t even consider to be pornographic and yet may actually be more so than the material some adults vilify.
        Our children are growing up dysfunctional in a dysfunctional world. We urgently need to change that world if we want to change their outcomes.

        1. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. There are many ‘arousing’ images out there that aren’t considered pornographic. Children are hit by a barrage of media and every company wants them to consume. I’ve heard 11-year-old discussing the thigh gap. It’s just crazy. When it comes to changing this stuff, I think we hit more walls than roads. For every person that wants to teach children about this stuff in a way that promotes physical, mental and sexual health, there will be another who thinks we should condemn all sexual topics. Maybe the truth is that society is at odds. One is trying to teach about sexuality and the other is trying to condemn all forms of sexuality outside of marriage. The society we have is a result of this mix.

  2. I think the question should be one of legal capacity – if they have the capacity to understand the significance and consequences of their actions and do the act voluntarily, they likely have capacity. A five year-old wouldn’t have capacity and a ten year-old might. I don’t think many kids would know that sending a naked picture of him or herself would constitute illegal activity (though they may appreciate that sending one of somebody else is wrong) and so, I believe the key with the kids is to get in there first, early, and educate. As a mum, I wouldn’t care about the legal side so much as the prospect of naked pictures of my child being distributed :-(

    1. I once scanned over an article talking about consent. The argument had something to do with maturity and I was under the impression they thought that was measurable. Long story short, they were saying that if someone under the age of consent has “legal capacity” then it should be legal for them to consent to sexual actions. Whether or not a 10-year-old understands what they do when they send a nude photo is what bothers me most. Asking the question makes me uncomfortable, but then the answer is even more stressful. If the answer is yes, then how much legal trouble would/should a child be in. If the answer is no, can we really do nothing? What is the form of punishment?

  3. That’s true Lydia, but then it’s OK to send naked pics if you’re 18, and kids want to be older than they are. Our culture sends out some sick messages to the child’s mind.

    1. When I was in middle school and high school, I didn’t think much of it, but now that I’m out, I wonder how much media plays into this. It starts very simple. Like, why do we have 18-25 year olds playing middle schoolers on TV? Why do we have 25ish year old playing high school students? At the very least, that’s going to cause some body image issues. Actually middle schoolers can’t expect to look like that.

      I wonder if what our culture is doing is moving the sexualization of high schoolers to even younger kids. How many movies out there sexualize high school girls? Middle school girls see that, want to be like them and emulate. I’m not really sure what the solution is here. Can we stop sexualizing (aka objectifying) high school girls without condemning them as sluts if/when they decide to have sex?

  4. Nowadays, kids ( girls ) around the age of 16 dresses like women’s with short skirts and act like sk**ks, like it’s cool to act that way.. some go further and don’t bother with kid’s ( guy’s ) their age.., and check for older man’s..

    And i agree with hipmonkey.
    “Our culture sends out some sick messages to the child’s mind.”
    It’s because of the society that we live in they act that way..

    1. Like I said to hipmonkey, I think a lot of it has to do with the sexulization of high school girls. Not that teenagers don’t bare any responsibility for how they act, but media does have an influence. We should be asking ourselves why they think it’s cool to act that way. Who is sending that message and how can we change it?

  5. I think it’s important to bear in mind that while boys and girls sext at about equal rates, boys share pictures of girls at a much higher rate than girls share pictures that boys send them. This creates an illusion that the problem is just with girls taking pictures. I think we need to look at why the girls seem to know and respect that those pictures aren’t meant to be shared, but boys don’t.

    1. I would agree. I wonder if it has to do with how we handle sexuality among girls and boys. Girls are supposed to keep quiet. Bragging about conquest would make you look bad (like a slut). But, for boys, bragging is good. It boots them and makes them a stud. Perhaps that is why boys are more likely to share; they’re more likely to brag. This is just a theory, though.

  6. Hey TK, it wasn’t easy for me to find your recent posts. As a fellow blogger I was able to get “random posts” and somehow I managed to find this area. Others may have a similar problem.
    Educating kids on this topic is so important for so many reasons. They may end up doing something illegal without realizing it. And they are so young that they probably don’t understand the possible consequences of their behavior, even if it were legal.
    And people may worry about educating young children, But if they’re already into this stuff, they need to have A better understanding of what they are getting involved in.

    1. How did you get to my blog today? Did you go to my URL or did you access via a smart phone? I do have featured posts at the top of my home page. Is that what you mean by random posts, or was this something different? (just trying to figure our exactly what happened so I can try to fix it). Thanks for letting me know.

      As for the kids, my biggest fear is that they will break a very bad law (distribution of child pornography sounds pretty heavy to me) without knowing it. I don’t feel like it’s fair for them to not even be educated on the subject if they might put themselves at risk for those consequences. While I know and you know kids need a better understanding of this stuff, there will be plenty of people who think not knowing is the only way of preventing this stuff. It doesn’t make sense, but if someone tried to implement a program in the schools to educate kids on this, there would be a lot of push back.

  7. “What is the world coming to?”
    –Hmmmm, heavy topic. I think that our society has gotten to such a fragmented humanistic state. That in the absence of absolutes and all things being subjective and relative, it seems difficult to know where to draw the line.
    Just my opinion. :-)

    1. I’m not even that concerned about the line. Adults should be free to do whatever they wish, so long as those actions do not interfere with the rights of others. Children have more restrictions on them because they are not adults yet. They need to be taught what bullying is and why it is wrong, the same with sexing and the distribution of lewd photos. They just need to know. These kids a maturing mentally and physically. They are going to be curious about these things. I don’t fault the children for sexting or even for the photos. I fault the system for not teaching them why those actions are so grave, especially when they involve children. More than anything else, we need to try to make children understand that a lot of this stuff, once it’s out, can’t be erased.

            1. From what I understand, they replied to a complaint tweeted to them. That Tweet included that photo and it somehow remain attached when the airline replied. At least, that’s what I heard. It was up for an hour before anyone noticed.

  8. I responded earlier but I note that a few here have touched on some of the things I was trying to put across. In supposed support of ‘freedom of speech’ and what is really support of ‘freedom to make money’ we allow our children to be bombarded with images and concepts that they should not be exposed to, unless perhaps we have thoroughly prepared them to understand it. It is already deeply embedded, however, in many young and not quite so young adults, because it has been going on for a long time.
    Miley Cyrus (if I’ve spelled that correctly) naked on a demolition ball, uses her physical attributes to sell her product. She is only one of thousands, tens of thousands over recent years. Bodies draped over cars, motorbikes, boats and guns, or used to sell fashion, cosmetics and perfume, all conform to a particular representation of the ‘ideal’ and the beautiful and send out a message which corrupts young people of both sexes.
    If what they are doing is merely emulating the values around them, it is we, the adults, who are to blame.

    1. This reminds me of a time in high school where my dad said something about ‘womanly powers.’ He said I didn’t know how to use them yet but, when I did, I could get a man to do whatever I wanted. Now, he didn’t say anything about my body, but I’m sure he was talking about how I acted, what I wore and how I blinked my eyes. I used to think I’d never have this power because I didn’t feel like I looked good enough. In reality, my looks didn’t matter as much as my confidence.

      At the end of the day, sex sells. Even our youth know this. I doubt people like Miley Cyrus will stop until they find something that sells more than sex.

      1. And until we come to understand it properly nothing will sell more than sex (unless it’s violence). This is not meant as a fishing expedition, but I’m going to try to cover this in my Tumblr and WordPress blogs over the next few days. I’ve just put up an image and asked for simple feedback, so if you feel ‘up to it’…

        Warmest best wishes to you,

      2. I should have replied to the first part of the message. Kids do pick these concepts up, often not instantly but by a kind of assimilation. The phrase ‘womanly powers’ rather implies that there are opposite ‘manly powers’ and unfortunately we most of us know what they are. I’ve spent most of my life feeling inadequate because I could never get mad enough at anyone to throw a punch at them, was no good at sports and believed that females were to be treasured.

  9. One always wonders where parents are when younger children get involved in these kind of things…. no? Other than that comment, I’m kinda laid back and feel that teens are too often treated like little kids in our culture when in fact they are not little kids and need to be allowed to make their own decisions to a point.

    1. That’s why we should have the common decency to speak to them rationally and educate them about the laws. Like many other things kids do, with all their hormones raging, sexting is going to happen. It’s not surprising that lewd photos will happen. What’s most worrying is that these kids could get in trouble with laws no one ever bothered to tell them about. The legal implications worry me more than the actual actions of these kids.

  10. Funny you should mention sex education. I read books to my children right from the beginning so they would look at sex as just as much a part of life as walking. You have to be careful where you walk, too. Most people don’t look at it that way, but I guarantee that ignorance doesn’t help.

    1. That makes complete sense to me. I wish that’s how I was taught about sex and sexuality. Instead, I was more or less terrified of anything sexual from childhood through the better part of high school. I’m still affected by those viewpoints. I’ve had to teach myself what is normal and abnormal, because all I was told growing up is that it is all wrong.

        1. That was my upbringing for everything. “bad” things were not to be discussed in my family. If we just ignore them and pretend they aren’t happening, then we can go on like it never happened. It’s frustrating to this day.

  11. Perhaps more pressing, how do you explain to a 10-year-old or 13-year-old that, even though they have a phone, and even though they can, of their own free will, take a photo of themselves naked and distribute it, that they also can’t consent to that photo being taken and/or distributed and are breaking the law by doing so?

    Just like that… let me tell you a story…

    I was living with my friend at the time and her 10 year old daughter was staying with us when she wasn’t at boarding school. We found on her computer one night that she’d been taking pictures of herself on webcam and sending them to “people” online. They were pretty provocative images. So we had a brainstorm about how to tackle it.

    My friend wanted to ground her for a month and take away her computer. I added that she needs to also keep her calm and have a conversation with her about the dangers and pitfalls of sending those kinds of pictures online to people she doesn’t know.

    She thought it was a bit of harmless fun and didn’t get why we were being all crazy ladies about it.

    Until we sat her down and explained what those images could be used for and how people online lie about themselves. We found her articles of pedophiles and how they target girls her age and act like they are the same age to get them to send things like that. The thought had never crossed her mind and she was so grossed out by it that she ran upstairs crying and deleted everything off her computer.

    Just because they are children doesn’t mean that they won’t understand if you explain to them rationally about actions and consequences. Warn them of the dangers of what they are doing. A lot of children just don’t think outside of it’s a bit of fun with friends. Thinking that they are friends so nothing bad will happen.

    I don’t believe in mollycoddling kids so that they aren’t aware of consequences. As a parent it’s my job to give my child the best skills needed for them to make the appropriate decisions for themselves and at that age, that’s the age they need to know boundaries so that they can then decide which path they want to go down – and if they want to become an internet porn star after the legal age of consent, then I won’t stop them, but I will let them know the dangers.

    1. That is a fantastic way to explain the problem to a child. I would agree that you should just tell them, but a lot of people seem uncomfortable talking about these subjects with children. They don’t want them to even know about this stuff, but that does the child no good. I actually really like that you showed her articles. That would have worked on me.

  12. Thought provoking piece and very, very well written. It’s difficult to tell children that they’re not ready for something or that they’re too young without their gut reaction being to want to try it or to resent the implication of immaturity. Because of the potential repercussions involved for the child or other children, I think education and stricter consequences are both necessary to make kids think twice, thrice or as many times as necessary to stay away from sexting and making themselves targets.

    1. I like the story Sharn told. She not only explained why those actions were wrong, she showed the 10-year-old news stories supporting the risks she was warning of. It probably depends on the maturity if the child, but I think we should give kids more credit. We need to educate them in plain and simple terms. Keeping them in the dark only puts them more at risk.

  13. I am a school teacher in India and the present scenario scares me. The exposure the kids have, the help which they get if they do, how much can they absorb of it? And India is at such a confusing place in terms of morals, stuck between western exposure and Indian beliefs and norms that all kids of wrong signals are sent out to the kids! The piece you have written is thought provoking.

    1. I think, when it comes down to it, the best we can do is educate kids about the dangers of these activities before they reach an age where they start. It’s not about morals or right and wrong; it’s about protecting the children. Maybe some won’t be mature enough to understand, but at least they stand a chance if we educate them. We can’t shelter them perfectly. This is so similar to sex education, it’s scary. I read recently that a little less than 1% of pregnant American teenager claim they are still virgins. They literally do not understand that they had sex or did a sexual act and that that action is what got them pregnant. That’s just uncalled for. Not educating children on these risks – from sexting to sex – does no good for their well being. It only makes them ignorant of the consequences of their actions.

      1. I agree educating them is the key, and the what you just told me it is horrifying. And doing something that could have lifelong impact on their lives and not knowning its consequences or its meaning is an unfair deal to the kids.

        1. Yeah well… too many people think children won’t do those things if you never speak of them. Unfortunately for them, human hormones have other plans.

  14. Unfortunately, laws are sometimes not logical, it’s like in some states, girls can start drinking at 18 and boys at 21, whereas they’re part of the same state, which in my opinion, encourages to weird situations… But, to come back to your topic, in France, adult age is 18. However, according to the law, boys are “sexually adult” at 14 and girls at 15, which makes their consent legitimate to any kind of sexual action. And we do have sexuality part of our natural sciences programme in schools. So we do talk about how to procreate, about contraception, things like orgasm and sexual abuse, although some other countries would consider that there should not be this kind of interaction, of information exchange, between a “proper” adult, that is to say the teacher, and teenagers. I’d say it is quite good to actually break the ice. Taboos only make things more complicated so let’s just break barriers, because nowadays, 12 year-old kids are much more informed about sex than 30 years ago. Let’s be honest, we all have TVs, access to Internet and so we need to adapt the education system to this. And sorry for how subjective I’m gonna sound now, but I feel that considering sex too much as a taboo and therefore, preventing people to be educated about it, has a lot to do with religion, because religion considers sex as a need for having children rather than a pleasure, which come on, is not true in most cases and which implies everyone is a little prudish kid until he/she reaches the age to think about parenthood.

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