High School TK, you’re so much better than this.
My first ‘boyfriend,’ if it can really be called that, is among the many mistakes of my childhood. The only reason this relationship lasted as long as it did is because of my own poor self-esteem. It’s like the boys could smell it on me. Just tell that girl she’s pretty and she’ll do just about anything. That’s how poorly she regards herself.
We’re going to call this boy Levi, but keep in mind, this is not his real name. Levi was the ex-boyfriend of one of my friends. The two of them were on friendly terms since the break up. As I remember it, it was that friend who told me Levi wanted to ask me to the Homecoming dance. I knew nothing about this guy and was far from attracted to him. I’ll spare you the physical details because they don’t really matter. All you need to know is that High School TK (aka: me) was willing to go to the dance with a guy she had no internet in because she her from a friend that he was interested in her.
Ah, the lovely high school memories.
Levi never asked me to the dance himself. Instead, I told my friend I was interested and she asked him if he was still interested. He said he was and then she asked me out for him. Do you want to slap High School TK (aka: me) right now, because I do. High School TK, take it from Future TK, this is a BAD idea.
She didn’t listen. Instead, High School TK (aka: me) dawned a white homecoming dress (which looked horrible on her because it was made for girls with average boobs and High School TK had tiny ones) and went to the dance. Her ‘date’ was an hour late. He mumbled some odd excuse that probably meant nothing. The boy could have called to say he was late. He could have done anything to prevent a poor girl from doubting her self-worth that much more for an hour while others danced.
When Levi finally came, I was livid. “What do you think you’re doing leaving me hanging?” I yelled. “You could have at least called one of my friends to let me know you would be late. No! You know what? I should have expected this. You didn’t even have the balls to ask me out on your own. This date is over. Screw you.”
If only I had that reaction. Instead, High School TK (aka: me) ignored all red flags and rolled on with the night. We danced and, out of the blue, he kissed me. It wasn’t that romantic, and it caught me completely off guard. Guys, this was the most awkward kiss in the world. My mouth wasn’t open at all, partly because I wasn’t expecting the kiss and partly because, if I did, I expected more of a peck to start out with (tongues were for sluts). He, however, tried to eat my face.
Levi pulled back, looked me right in the eye and laughed at me. “Was that your first kiss?”
“Thanks for the memories, but I’m done with this shit.” is exactly what I wish I would have said… but I didn’t. Instead, we awkwardly made out against the bleachers. I don’t know what was going through his mind, but I was completely out of my body. I wondered, is this how it was supposed to be? Is this the only guy who will ever like me? Is this was kissing is? Am I supposed to be paying attention? What are my friends going to say?
There was no romance here, folks. This moment was nothing but a bubble of awkward that I couldn’t wait to end.
Maybe it was all a fluke. Perhaps, Levi was actually a decent guy. We made plans to meet up at his house the next day and watch a movie. What did a handful of red flags matter? There was a boy who claimed to like me! Yay!
How many red flags do you spot in this story? At what point would your high school self have abandoned this date? What was your first kiss like? What was the most awkward experience of your youth?